Saber: Area Woman Not Listened To Again

Archer: Man Who Thought He Lost All Hope Loses Last Bit Of Additional Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had

Lancer: Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet

Caster: Stone-hearted Ice Witch Forgoes Exclamation Point

Assassin: Fucking Loser At A Movie All By Himself

Rider: Sometimes I Feel Like I'm The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair

Shirou: ‘I Am Under 18’ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

Illyasviel: Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day

Rin: Area Woman's Entire Day Ruined By Bangs

Shinji: Man Thinks People Care Enough About Him To Be Let Down By His Failures

Sakura: Woman Has Few Enough Friends To Consider Confiding In Sister

Kirei: Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up

Gilgamesh: Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move