Saber: Area Woman Not Listened To Again
Archer: Man Who Thought He Lost All Hope Loses Last Bit Of Additional Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had
Lancer: Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet
Caster: Stone-hearted Ice Witch Forgoes Exclamation Point
Assassin: Fucking Loser At A Movie All By Himself
Rider: Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair
Shirou: ‘I Am Under 18’ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet
Illyasviel: Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day
Rin: Area Woman’s Entire Day Ruined By Bangs
Shinji: Man Thinks People Care Enough About Him To Be Let Down By His Failures
Sakura: Woman Has Few Enough Friends To Consider Confiding In Sister
Kirei: Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
Gilgamesh: Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move
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