ive been thinkin about half life three and like…. i dont even want it to be good. listen

i want it to release this month, with no warning and have it just be like the most fuckin self referential shit ever. i want glados to be a cameo character that sends you on a side mission to grab 15 companion cubes and every line of dialogue is a portal joke that stopped being funny in 2008
i want borderlands 2 style humor in it i want a gabe newell characfer named Gay Ben that cant count to three i wa