#southern Michigan problems

Southern MIchigan? You mean this isn’t just a Massachusetts/Rhode Island thing?

Hold it, I’m pretty sure this is a Virginia thing too. How many states does this thing air in anyway?

We’ve got it in Ohio too.

indiana

what fresh hell is this?

Ha!  Commercial jingles.  How droll.  I have more pressing matters to consider!  Let’s watch the local news and see how much further my great state of North Carolina has slithered in its quest to become a Handmaid’s Tale-level theocratic dystopia-  OH GODDAMN IT

They have quite the empire. 

Also, they famously had an empire carpet ad in Wayne’s World, and that’s accurate to Illinois.