Alex's Stuff

incorrectfatequotes:

Saber: Area Woman Not Listened To Again

Archer: Man Who Thought He Lost All Hope Loses Last Bit Of Additional Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had

Lancer: Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet

Caster: Stone-hearted Ice Witch Forgoes Exclamation Point

Assassin: Fucking Loser At A Movie All By Himself

Rider: Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair

Shirou: ‘I Am Under 18’ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

Illyasviel: Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day

Rin: Area Woman’s Entire Day Ruined By Bangs

Shinji: Man Thinks People Care Enough About Him To Be Let Down By His Failures

Sakura: Woman Has Few Enough Friends To Consider Confiding In Sister

Kirei: Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up

Gilgamesh: Asshole Admits To Being Asshole In Supreme Asshole Move

takashi0:

darkvioletcloud:

alamuts-lair-of-madness:

thellamamongler:

thechubbyhobo:

vampireapologist:

dontkillbugs:

evilkitten3:

in order to save his mother who got sick after some dead bisexual guy woke up from a 100 year coma, a japanese-british-italian teen and his friends - a horny old man who can’t stop screaming, a gay egyptian fortune teller, a literal mother fucker, a french guy unable to go four minutes without fucking up, and the world’s saltiest dog - must defeat villains like bette midler, mariah carey, terence trent d’arby, and vanilla ice in incredibly tense challenges, such as:

• the “is this really a boat” challenge
• the “do you know literally anything about your friend” challenge
• the “can you not die from a bullet shot by the wild west version of a stormtrooper” challenge
• the “is the amount of sand in my eyes really worth not dying” challenge
• the “figure out if the car moving on its own is weird or not” challenge
• the “should we do something about these zombies or nah” challenge
• the “how long have we been walking and isn’t it kinda hot” challenge
• the “what if freddy krueger was remote controlled by a baby” challenge
• the “is this trap too obvious to be a trap and can you bond over watersports” challenge
• the “is it okay to throw dogs at blind people” challenge
• the “how gay can we make this look” challenge
• the “can’t read my pokerface” challenge
• the “can a noob beat a leet” challenge

and many more

Hi excuse me what the fuck does any of this mean

i can’t believe they didn’t mention the 100 year old bisexual is also a vampire

How… bizarre

Excuse you, he has the head and neck of a vampire and the body of a Victorian martial artist

And that the “Victorian martial artist” was the 100 year old bisexual vampire’s adopted brother, or the fact, that his martial art was literally turning your body into solar energy by breathing. 

Also the “horny old man” once fought three ancient Aztec fitness gods of buffness, and he was kinda wed to two of them.

One of said gods of fitness was punched into orbit by the horny old man in revenge for his salad being crushed by a rock.

You forgot to mention that that was when the Horny old man was a Horny YOUNG man.