Alex's Stuff

dailyarturia:

tainbocuailnge:

there’s… an urban legend if you will because I don’t think anyone’s been able to confirm for sure, about a certain man. a man with a mission. a man with but one singular goal that all of his years of living so far had been leading up to. 

that goal was to roll scathach. 

now, for some context. scathach had been in nearly all the promotional material for fgo since the game was announced, but as what would turn out to be a limited servant, she wasn’t in the game yet. she was in fact, together with arjuna, the only of the promotional servants (altera, scathach, arjuna, ushiwakamaru, mephistopheles, jekyll, and darius) who wasn’t in the game at all. as a supreme milf she was highly anticipated and when she finally became available for the first time, it was at very short notice and completely unexpected and so literally nobody was prepared for it whatsoever. since all the other promo servants were permanent I guess nobody thought she might be limited. not only was she incredibly anticipated just as a character, at the time of her release she had some of the sickest animations in the game as well as an incredibly powerful skillset. people went apeshit. you can imagine the chaos of people scrambling to find the money to roll her.

this is where the legendary scathach whale comes in. this man went above and beyond for scathach. he sold his car to get more quartz for scathach. he stole his parents’ credit cards to get more quartz for scathach. his parents found out and he got disowned so now he was out on the streets, with no car, because he wanted to obtain a spandex-clad milf in a mobile game more than he wanted to live. 

that alone makes for a wild story but it doesn’t end there because I told you, this man was on a mission. this man would stop at nothing to obtain the waifu of his dreams. homelessness wasn’t nearly enough to deter him. so what he did, according to the story, is either he approached the yakuza or the yakuza approached him, and they offered him debt money to pay off his parents with. any normal person upon sinking to the level of accepting debt money from an organised crime syndicate would realize the magnitude in which they fucked up and at the very least pay off their debt before getting into more trouble, but not mr scathach whale. 

mr scathach whale used the debt money to buy more quartz for scathach. 

that is where the story ends. did the yakuza get him? did he ever get scathach? did this happen as told, or only partially, or perhaps not at all? it is a mystery lost to the elusive depths of word of mouth communication. I advise everyone to stay on the lookout for the upcoming limited 5* avenger class scathach whale.

here’s the legend of the scathach whale for yall